i really want to just pick up the blade again

i hate that im always there for everyone but when i need somebody to talk to suddenly everyones busy

im almost 2 days clean, but i just want to relapse again

i really wanna relapse right now

fuck i just said the same thing twice sorry im high on sleeping meds

they didnt tell me she was going to go that fast

i wasnt prepared

shes gonna die this month

they're going to die together

and then my grandpa will too

my grandma is going to die, and i cant stop it

i just need it all to go quiet

im holding a blade right now

i feel like if i dont see blood its not valid, its why i stopped burning. it took so long before i saw blood

sorry was grabbing a charger

its so weird im sorry

seeing blood like calms me

i just want to see blood

im scared im gonna go really deep and someone will like see

but im scared cause im going deeper everytime

thank you L, im just rlly struggling right now

i dont even need someone to talk about my sh, just about anything to keep me from doing it again

i just want someone to talk to, someone to distract me

im not even 24 hours clean

im trying to distract myself right now so i dont relapse again

and i cant tell anyone, i dont know how, do i just text someone "hey i wanna slice open my thighs"

thers no big veins there

i do it on my thighs so its not dangerous to go deep

i have one on my thigh where i went pretty deep, im scared is getting infected now. its green and the skin is bright red

but its not that deep, there are people that go deeper and have like darker scars

im scared my self harm isnt valid, and i want to go deeper

i saw on tiktok that what i do is called cat scratches, so its not that deep. some people like hit white, i've never done that

hello peepss can i vent or am i like interupting something - Anne

goodnight yelloww lytt

byee irirs thank you for being so sweeeeeet

goodnight to all my fellow europians

alr people imma go pass out im drunk asf ahhahah

my mom didnt believe me the first time i told her, she said i was doing it cause it was on tv

i mean i love em and stuff but they probably wont believe me

i do not have a good relationship with my parents they would not believe me