yeah maybe this is just a rough patch thats gonna make me like insanly hot and traumatized

welcome back to the super happy party

heyyy yellowww

nah i dont feel like doing that im just gonna quit therapy and thug it out or sum

its why i convinced her im fully healthy now

no she's just fucking stupid

and she said iwas faking

so i told her wtf no i cant control them

she told me that if i really have panic attacks i should just get one right now so she can teach me how to stop them

she's so fucking annoying

i dont know how to tell her

i might get a therapist without my parents knowing

i have our last session thursday, i convinced her im healthy

what if my therapist doesnt believe me? what if she cant help me? im not there for depression

yeah ig writing is easier, but im just scared of peoples reactions

do i just sit down and blurt out "hey i carve open my thighs every night, wanna see?"

i just dont know how to tell my therapist

bye yellow thank you so much you're such a sweetheart i hope you get back <3

its honestly the only reason im still here, cause its not that easy

but its not that easy

sometimes i just wish there was a button that i could press that would kill me

i dont have anyone, i only have my best friend and she has her own shit right now

i just want it all to stop

im passing out more frequently than i used to, people at my archery practice have started to notice. i dont want them to think im faking shit for attention

and u too iris

yes yellow holy shit ur so sweet

i am annoying, im getting sicker than i used to be. they used to be able to deal with my illness, but now im getting slower and dumber, and im losing my hearing

i just dont want to make anyone upset, i already feel guilty enough about being as annoying as i am

but then im worried my friends might notice and they'll be dissapointed in me

i might go to the pool and just sit there in like knee high shorts or something

i havent told anyone

oh wow im purple now

i dont wanna go and trigger anyone, what if someone at the pool struggles too, and then they see my thighs, and they relapse

im gonna cancel

typo

i cant go*

i told my friends im doing better, that i've been clean for a few weeks, so they invited me to their pool party. i havent been clean at all, i can barely stay clean for longer than a day

imma get back to my rants real quick im about to fall asleep

hahah tyy love that u got that from me ranting about sh

yeah haha i just usually come here to shout at nothing ness, so you gus dont need to resond if you dont want tooo