Im going to sleep im scared

Hi

Oh

Huh

And when i do its morejust of ambiance then sometbing i NEED

Ive kinda conditioned myself to not be able to function without something playing in my head like music or a random podcast

I cant just sit with my thoughts its so annoying

For me i just use it as escapism

It takes energy and motivation

I cant just not be on my phone i have to fill my time with other things

Bye blue

Idk sometimes it feels better to pretend i know everything on here then experience what is my reality

The addiction is kinda bad

I want to get off this phone

Bye

I cant help but want to get things right the first time around

Im scared if i dont think deeply about what i do im going to make a mistake

Like overthinking?

But everything doesnt just instantly feel better when you are given space

The reason i stopped having such horrible thoughts so often is because im now in a different environment

Blue true

Somehow the good things i make for people will always get twisted

But a lot of people in my life dont think that way about the things i do

I think some of the things i do are amazing, like how did i even do that

But it kinda died down

I was kinda suicidal just thoughts

Do you think some people are just more sensitive then others

Idk i treat myself like a prisoner here 😭

Like a friend

Want to release it somehow

Its too much, i deep cleaned my entire kitchen my body kinda aches and i just

Even though i feel like i havent

Because id like to see them grow as people

Whenever i debate killing myself i tell myself not to every time because of other people

Couldnt i just live my life because i want to

Idk how long its been since the last time ive been sure of myself

So idk if you can say i have a like default way of being

I dont often act like myself

For fun

I took it