but im scared of parenting

i dont know

maybe i would

Thats nice but I wouldnt adopt

i have no issue with the process of concieving just the idea of the growth

but the thought of it pushing around my organs and growing is intolerable

but i want to be a mom

it would move

i would be able to feel

but i dont think i could deal with a living thing growing inside me

i want to be a mom

i hate this

if i could be a floating cloud i would wanna be

yesterday it was my teacher talking about flaying

its like my lifes focused on triggering me

its like im rotting off

its a loop

its sickening

my voicebox when i talk

my tonsils

i cant even vomit without feeling my gullet

i wish i was only the non-physical part of me

i dont hate it because its ugly i hate its feeling

i hate it equally

i can feel

my vertabrae

in my head

i can feel the grooves

when i touch my eyebags i can feel the indents of my skull

little things are starting to trigger me

if i think about it i start to feel them

i almost cried

thought itd be fnny to talk about bugs under my skin

this girl

a week ago or so

it feels like theres little worms

sometimes

like an empty hole where my organs should be filling

not like a hunger

when im hungry i can feel it inside me