well

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i have such irrational fears

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because i feel opressed

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and why do i feel oppressed?

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because society restricts me

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and i care about what other people think about me

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born into a world wanting apples when i'm wired not to

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maybe this is the autistic experience

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regardless

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i would fail

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my hate persists for the people of this world

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i know i would

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and while it hurts me too

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i am in no capacity to let go of it anytime soon

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no way

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and would i be ok with failing?

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the people of this world deserve my hate

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who the fuck knows

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they deserve to be lathered in it

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and i deserve to feel free

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to be free

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surely that is a human right

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if i die

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i want death to be free

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just freedom

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i want to be free

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i don't want to play this stupid game of life anymore

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the negatives outweigh the positives

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but i do want to keep living

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it's strange

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am i just a product of imitation and synchronicities

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i could probably put my finger on it but the reason wouldn't FEEL right

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what kind of life is the one who is aware of it

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and have to embrace it

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how can i do that

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if it goes against everything

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i need to learn how to extinguish this anger/hatred, change my perception of it, or learn that i was wrong

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because i can't keep living like this

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everything that is considered the normality

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my anger and hatred IS a limiter to my freedom

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