i dont see what i am supposed to be doing right at this moment

65153 - 

i am just here

65153 - 

what do i do here

65153 - 

I'll tell you all something

67868 - 

if i WAS to kill myself

67868 - 

and let's say, the catholic hell and heaven is real

67868 - 

i would hate it

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even heaven

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the idea of submitting to someone who put me on a planet full of suffering and evil

67868 - 

it revolts me

67868 - 

it irks me like nothing else

67868 - 

there is no moral basis for such an expectation of me

67868 - 

unless the card of "oh we can't expect to understand god"

67868 - 

to that i say fuck you

67868 - 

what a fucking manipulative and whataboutism card to pull

67868 - 

i think i genuinely detest religous people

67868 - 

and yet i was once religous

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and i'm still suspectible to being so

67868 - 

hated

67868 - 

i'm consumed by hatred and anger

67868 - 

i used to maladaptive daydream about scenarios where i could unleash my anger

67868 - 

now i realise that wasn't for no reason

67868 - 

and at this point it's like

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so what

67868 - 

so what if i'm an evil person for wanting to be so free that i can do whatever i want whenever i want

67868 - 

so what if i try to put that into effect as much as i can, despite not being a billionaire

67868 - 

fuck you

67868 - 

that's my response

67868 - 

because this is MY life

67868 - 

and not yours

67868 - 

it genuinely makes me sick

67868 - 

how i'm expected to be beholden to such ideals

67868 - 

i just want to lay down and dissapear from the world

68056 - 

and granted

67868 - 

there are going to be things i'm going to have to do

67868 - 

that i don't want to do

67868 - 

BUT THE WORLD SHOULD NOT BE THAT WAY

67868 - 

AND IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE.

67868 - 

I feel like such an alien

67868 - 

but why do i want to be free so badly?

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