Its so embarrassing

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Soemtimes i feel like i might become one woth the mattress i rot in

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I live in hell. Thank god there arent any bedbugs anymore i was this xlose to offing mhself

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There were rats too but then theres this cat who comes in and then leaves at its own

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My mom and her bf are going through a rough time and she is taking it out on me.

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Im sorry

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She told me she will kick me out like she did him

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My mom keeps taking out her frustrations at me too

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She told me the same she said i could live with my father

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He wpnt keep me

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Eveen if je would id rather die

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He's so awdul he haunts me in my dreams

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Either hes hitting me ot im hitting him kn the nightmares

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I never hit him always fantasized it though

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I wish i coild i wish j was strong

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oh

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Go to the gym rhey say how tf i am not allowed to go ojt unless necessary

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"necessary" means according to her wshes

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I hate everyone and i hate that i hate because this hatred mihht mean the end of em

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i believe you are strong mentally as well, i am proud of you for being able to share all of this on here because it is a lot

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Me*

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Thank uou i havt nevr talked to anyone about this ever

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Its eating me imside

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There are no locks to any door

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Inside my house

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No privacy

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Not even in the washroom. Its so funny i thiught it was usual

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I still font know maybe everyone's lying and it is usual

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I used to lie on this nroken sofa and rhen on the floor

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Now ive upgraded to a mattress probably bad bevause thats why i keep bedrotting

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I should probably be on the floor again

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have you had any good memories you can look back on sometimes even if they are old?

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Yes but they still hurt. Theyre bitterswet

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I have a memory thag my father is swinging me on a swing

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Thats the only good memory of my father

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He taught me how to swing and whistle

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But it hurts so much

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That he couldnt be like that 24/7

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He was abused too when he was young

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I feel like theres no out to people who're stuck in abusive cycle

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