We didnt talk for 2 yrs although i lived with her

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She was horrible to me. Ahe was good to me.

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I feel guilty

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That i didnt talk to her

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Vut what would i even say

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She said so much horrible things

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it feels like something is trying to claw its way out of my chest from the inside

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Shed encourage my father to hit my mother

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She hit me. She hit my parents.

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But she bought me clothes

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And nice stuff

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She would talk to me about her painful past

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She was abused too

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Its a cycle

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I dont want to be stu k in it

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Im so terrified of being like my father

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Bur every coming day im being like him

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He would hit me and say such hurtful thingstheyre branded on my skin

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I cant trusg anyone because of him and it hurts

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He left and he hasnt been in my life for a year

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I grieve him still

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I grieve the goodmoments however less they may be

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And i feel stupid

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But i haven othing else

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Im sorry

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No one tbere ?have i beenso careless

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Im so stressed ive started having white hair already

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And my nails are this wavy shape

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Becahse of stress again

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I hate it

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Ill imahine im just yelling intot he void rn

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I wish i cluld scream on the top of my lungs

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It would feel ao cathartic

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i am listening i wish i had the perfect answer for you but it is just best to feel what you are feeling now

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Thank you

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<3

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Im sorry i xsmt help or give advice to anyone

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I feel like pulling out my hair or like gouging mt eyes out so many times in n the day

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Bangin mt head against the wall

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I havent brushed my teeth in so long it feels so hard. I washed my face after a whole day today

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