all my exams are piling up soon. im in 10th grade and its the end of the first semester

93769 - 

i wish they got this shit sorted a year ago or whatever but i guess it was never that serious

93769 - 

in my experience it was serious ive been experiencing the same things over and over again

93769 - 

most of the time they say its just hormones and i wouldnt neccesarily disagree

93769 - 

its easy to get doomery abt upcoming tests yeah

94366 - 

i wish i was normal

89725 - 

but i feel like something is wrong internally and mentally. maybe im just a professional at self victimising

93769 - 

but all you can do is your best. Study well, and youll be doing everything you need to succeed

94366 - 

i need to go apologise to my friend and im so fucking scared of doing that

93769 - 

i wish i didnt act out in public and burst down into tears after the fight

93769 - 

i dont act out in public nowadays

93769 - 

i contain it to myself most of the time and wait for a space to let it out in

93769 - 

you shouldnt be afraid to apologise, just prepare for your friend to be hesitant to accept it

89725 - 

Sounds like a good coping mechanism

94366 - 

Yeah i agree with blue

94366 - 

yeah that makes sense. i wouldnt forgive me in a heartbeat anyways

93769 - 

even worse because its another friends birthday tomorrow

93769 - 

and the friend i got into a fight with is there

93769 - 

i really wanna go but idk how its gonna work

93769 - 

You appreciate your friend right? Even though you called them a name this time, in general you’re fond of them, right?

94366 - 

i think ill just take my meds tmrw morning and see how i end up feeling

93769 - 

yeah, hes a good guy deep down. pretty irrational and immature but hes reliable when things get tough

93769 - 

i just hate approaching people after bad situations like this

93769 - 

most of the time i get called crazy or neurotic

93769 - 

theyre not wrong but i wish it wasnt like this

93769 - 

Well maybe it would help to highlight his good traits and explain that you know you got issues so you cant guarantee perfect behavior but youre working on it

94366 - 

which is why im so adamant on the idea of suicide. i dont deserve to live

93769 - 

i just hate communicating with oeople after bad situations

93769 - 

ive been thinking about suicide for the past 6 weeks anyways

93769 - 

i think what really triggered it is that before the 6 weeks i blew $400 dollars in a day on random bullshit i didnt even need

93769 - 

I think its worse to just let things remain unsolved though

94366 - 

i wouldnt say its the only reason but one of the factors contributing

93769 - 

Damn that really is textbook bipolar disorder right there

94366 - 

😭yeah i had a feeling

93769 - 

THERMAL NIGHT SCOPE BINOCULAR OR ORDINARY BINOCULAR?

94374 - 

i feel like i could have diagnosed you at this point lol

94366 - 

its not the first time as well

93769 - 

haha i wish it were that easy but theres so many other factors

93769 - 

yeah

94366 - 

if it helps ive had anorexia and a self harm addiction in the past, anxiety and depression too but those are the usual

93769 -