Aitsu no brown shoes by Miki matsubara

1871 - 

i was in that situation

14517 - 

yeah but like. the people close to me

13245 - 

what about yourseld

14517 - 

i want to kill myself but i told my dad i wasnt suicidal

14520 - 

..do i care about me? is that the question ?

13245 - 

if you dont have anyone you at least have yourself

14517 - 

I need money

1871 - 

i need help

14520 - 

idk it's less like "at least" and more like "unfortunately i am stuck with me"

13245 - 

ive resigned myself to existing as me

13245 - 

it doesnt feel worth it unless i have people to love and people who will love me

13245 - 

i felt that way too i still kinda do

14517 - 

i want to kill myself and that just repeats over and over and over in my head and i just fucking cant

14520 - 

and i feel like i have people who like me but not people who love me

13245 - 

Imma go play lethal or smth

1871 - 

but then i just kinda started living my life outta spite

14517 - 

i dont have friends to play lethal company with lol

13245 - 

i want to die

14520 - 

idk i dont want to live out of spite. i want to live for love

13245 - 

yea its not the best way to live beacuse lmao here i am

14517 - 

i want someone to hold me and say "it's okay ill handle it" and then actually handle something for me for once

13245 - 

i feel like im drowning and my loved ones are cheering me on and telling me to keep going

13245 - 

i want someone to hold me and tell me itll be ok

14520 - 

the world is unfair i learned that no one is going to come and save you, you have to find help

14517 - 

or just help yourself

14517 - 

exactly. *i* help me. nobody else helps me. and that's a sad, sad way to live

13245 - 

and the harder part is that i dont just help me i help EVERYBODY ELSE IN MY LIFE TOO

13245 - 

nobody gives me the same energy back

13245 - 

i hate my body too, i hate eating i wish i didnt have to do it.

14520 - 

yea i just ignore it all honestly ive been thinking about what to do

14517 - 

stupid fucking world i fucking hate jt

14520 - 

about how i feel

14517 - 

i dont even hate helping people that's the thing

13245 - 

i love caring. i love that i have empathy. i love people

13245 - 

how to not feel so shitty

14517 - 

but i resent them when they dont do the same thing for me

13245 - 

i feel like im the only fucking person who sees somebody suffering and says "huh maybe i should do something about that"

13245 - 

i decided instead of caring im going to do stuff im going to learn a lot of new things and see the world

14517 - 

the people in my life either wont stick their neck out for anybody or they'd let themselves be run over for a fucking rabbit before they ever sacrificed themselves for. oh, you know. another person

13245 -