i try to get help try to pull myself out. But then something chokes me and pushes me back down. It tells me lies and whispers in the back of my mind. I know they are lies but i believe them still

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shes such a perfectionistand shes so sensitive. Im scared. every time we speak its a fight and she turns my dad away from me too. she always says im undeserving, stupid, not supposed to be born..

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if i dont get 100 she'll hate me

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she always says how horrid i am

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that she wishes i wasnt born. that im not perfect like her

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btu i didnt ask to be born, was I?

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no.

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wish i wasnt either.

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she just always does this.

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does she not realize what hurts and what doesnt?

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she thinks shes the only one hurting when shes the one who makes me stay up until 3 or 4 am studying, memorizing, writing

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Wanna make my parents proud but im never enough. The harder i try the harder i cry. Its so overwhelming got my head spinnin round. Thoughts getting to loud im so stressed out

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i have to practice viola, swim, memorize, write, complete all of my work, do extra arabic studies, do all of my chores and be perfect

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but i CANT.

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so why doesnt she get it

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that im human?

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she says im just a lazy bitch who wont get up.

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gee thanks lyt ma.

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she always burns me

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and hits me

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and once even pulled my hair until my neck popped

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Red, word of advice. She wants to much from you cause most likely she has her own insecurities and doubts. Try to pinpoint your dreams and pursue yours not hers.

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Red you are perfect the way you are or you wouldnt be that way. Its okay to have flaws we all have them.

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Hiiii

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thanks yellow <3 you deserve sm more than what you get. you are very sweettt!! -el\

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Red, Try to find an outlet that doesnt involve harm to yourself or others. For the time being all you can do is stand up to her or just do what she wants until you can get out of it

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i wish you the best!

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Stay strong i know you can do it! It might seem rough now but it will be worth it!

41431 - 

if i stand up to her she'll hurt me all over again and my dad would too

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because theyre a 'eteam.'

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im never believed

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Red, do you have christian beliefs?

41431 - 

I dont know how to deal with my body issues, i feel sick looking in the mirror i want those scale numbers to go down i need them to but i feel like i dont have a right to talk about my issues

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i feel like since its not a full blown eating disorder its not that serious

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i wanna sob so bad

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no im muslim -el

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GUYS

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sorry im at skl atm. -el

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yeah thats what i wanted to say

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ok bye

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