I dont know, its hard to understand my thought process, how i feel about good and bad things, i think its clearer for bad, er no, maybe for good, avoidance is my skill

39435 - 

how i could have turned out so differently

39422 - 

there is a whole world of ugly, dark, evil things that are just as important as the beautiful, light, good. choosing to simply ignore the bad does more harm than accepting it. theyre often the same--

157 - 

if he. didnt. live.

39422 - 

one rotten man.

39422 - 

avoidance loop. I have to write this, i wont remember, eas y to forget most things, because idistract myself constantly , busy head busy busy busy busy

39435 - 

things, but just happening to different things, people, events, in different ways.

157 - 

all i ever do is wish. all i ever do is hope. all i do is ever pray

39422 - 

i think I have a Clear head, but i think of it, its not, its scattered, easy for me to scatter, distraction comes easily, keep myself occupied, nothing difficult, i just need to do it

39435 - 

I get told just to do it, dont they understand ?I want to , no I thin k i want to , the truth is, I want easy easy easy easy

39435 - 

i wish i wish i wish. i hope i hope i hope. i pray i pray i pray.

39422 - 

i dont not want difficult, JUST Difficult to do, its difficult, im trying, no solution, there is a solution

39435 - 

There is many solutions for me,i need to take them, my problem, i repeat hopes, what i must do, what i will do, and no action!

39435 - 

No action! No action! No action! No movement! No movement! No forward! Only same!

39435 - 

Stay in same spot, time moves forward, now Im back, now i dont move, further back

39435 - 

you must look at the whole picture of life, reality, not choose to ignore the parts that make you uncomfortable or worse. if you choose to see all of it, the good and bad, that is the truth.

157 - 

Stay strong sweety you can do it - sarah

39436 - 

no higher value than the idea of truth, all other things in life can be derived from whether something is true.

157 - 

I think all the things i must think, i dont think harshly, i think positive, i do healthy action mostly, not disregard , i eat , i sleep, i think, spend time with other, all i need more is to work out

39435 - 

is that the solution!? Hahahaha

39435 - 

Okay, easy, life , easy easy easy easy i said i would do it, then I did not , easy loop, easy, Lying is easy

39435 - 

MOST MEN ARE RAPISTS........INCLUDING YOUR FATHERS

39437 - 

what problem are you trying to solve, purple?

157 - 

Yellow I remembered having to suck off my teacher to get degree - sarah

39436 - 

Problem, my avoidance loop, I avoid because it's difficult and because I feel not strongly about anything, I used to be motivated by fear, panic, interest, motivation

39435 - 

OMG I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT CORAL

39437 - 

CORAL PLEASE STEER CLEAR OF THE RAPIST GENDER

39437 - 

Used to want to feel good, now its neutral, everything neutral, good is fine, bad is bad, but avoidance is easy, easy easy easy, comes easily, I need to hook myself to something, some goal or pattern,

39435 - 

so you no longer haver those feelings you listed or they are still there but there is another issue?

157 - 

I must keep it, i must keep a pattern

39435 - 

EVEN RESORT TO ELIMINATING THEM

39437 - 

TORTURE THEM TO A PAINFUL DEATH

39437 - 

I am not looking for advice or to explain myself, i am tired and not thinking clearly, this is only for my peace of mind

39435 - 

EVERY MAN SHOULD SUFFER

39437 - 

distraction comes easy, some way, ican make it difficult, i can make it not appealing, i can make my mind do nothing but what i must do, if just for a moment, anything is good, damn me

39435 - 

lying is so easy, right now, ill say goodnight, but if ill sleep, i dont know. Ill say, ill wake in four hours, the truth i know will be different. Why? why lie? Even to myself

39435 - 

its hard, but if youre serious about change, then do it. there are probably some distractions you can control, get rid of them, make it impossible.

157 - 

It seems as if peace of mind is more important to me

39435 - 

Same fucking advice, just do it, I am trying every time, just need to try harder

39435 - 

I just need to do it

39435 -