it used to be so bad that id hide and start shaking at the sound of someone knocking on our front door

39422 - 

is the noble lie real? do some lies really make the world better off than the truth? i think so.

157 - 

i was always scared he'd find us again

39422 - 

i think many people who need that purpose in their lives are lying to themselves, in a sort of self preservation.

157 - 

what is a lie but a truth in the making? :)

5432 - 

that they would take me away again

39422 - 

Hiiii - sarah

39433 - 

bye-bye ventscape :3c

5432 - 

"i decided i love fucking trains, they give my life meaning, so i wont blow my fucking brains out"

157 - 

even though its near impossible for him to find us, that feelinf still lingers.

39422 - 

my minds still stuck in the state of, "what if he finds us? what if he finds us?"

39422 - 

maybe ill always be this way

39422 - 

if that little girl could see me now

39422 - 

i dont think she'd recognize me.

39422 - 

i dont think i recognize her anymore either.

39422 - 

honestly? i belive that you believe that, but no, i think most peoples "purpose or meaning" are flimsy and a way to cope with they have live in suffering or die, which also scares them.

157 - 

i havent felt real for years.

39422 - 

5 whole years.

39422 - 

almost, what, six now?

39422 - 

sacred to live. scared to die. confused apes, assinging the meaning of their life to their favorite tv show

157 - 

when does it all stop?

39422 - 

wheres the relief?

39422 - 

ive been asking this for years

39422 - 

i dont ever feel good

39422 - 

everyday is a repeat of the last

39422 - 

im so desperate for anything to change

39422 - 

that i wish for family members to die

39422 - 

so desperate for change

39422 - 

so desperate for pain

39422 - 

just to feel something

39422 - 

ask you average guy, the guy at the store, why are you alive? young? might say some experience they want. older? usually they cope with children. "i have to stay alive because they need me".

157 - 

justification? relief?

39422 - 

all my life

39422 - 

ive only wanted to feel

39422 - 

justified

39422 - 

shes made me to believe that my problems dont matter.

39422 - 

that hers are worse.

39422 - 

what mother does that?

39422 - 

it hurts knowing youll never change

39422 - 

they assinged reasons, purpose, to prevent themselves from exploring the side of life that is beating down on them. they wont though. that means acknowledging it.

157 -