i dont know if i want to be nonbinary

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OK WE FUCKING GET IT BLUE STOP

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and i believed it i argued with my mum for him

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every time they argued which was every night i would be on his side

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he controlled me completely

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now im left with nothing

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Anyway at that point, I'm am crazy thinking yellow was likr

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i dont want to be a man but i dont want too be a woman

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the another way of like.. manifestation of what they would do as a couple

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I know it's like maybe its not, but it could be. I dont like thinking bout it

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my dad loved me like i was an adult i guess

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my parents got divorced and they arent angry at eachother but i have arguments every week they swap

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If it was, then fuck both of them. fuck him for letting me think he love me then go around sleeping and giving his attention on another girl

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Yeah. Maybe that is.

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my dad loved me

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makes me feel like i should love him too

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my dad almost feltlike a pervert to me and i felt uncomfortable and while i talked to my mum abt it finnaly she didnt rlly take it seriously

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and i guess i do kind of

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but i hate him more

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so i dont like looking at photos of him

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of us together

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ugh, hmm

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because all i can think about is if that was around the time he first molested me lol

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what makes you think he loved you?

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or when he started physically beating me up

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my dad would stick his hand down my pants at my ass and i didnt think it was normal but i never told him

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or when he started drinking vodka instead of wine

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because thats what he told me

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he did everything because he loved me and wanted the best for me

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hello?

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he wasnt ever around when i was little though

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all of my photos of when i was a baby is me and my mum

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videos of me crawling around for the first time is just my mum

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he only talks to me now to try and make me love him again

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sends me pictures of cats and him fishing

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because we used to fish together lol

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and he knows i like cats

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i hate that

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i hate that he knows me and that we have memories together

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and i hate it when he askes me to pick something off the floor and he just stands there like "im your fucking son stop trying to be a pervert"

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