so then i called him a fucking retard and had a panic attack like an idiot

93769 - 

who the fuck calls their friend a slur and then starts twitching tf out

93769 - 

im such a dumbass

93769 - 

in my defense my last 6 weeks have been hell

93769 - 

i cant deal with my erratic mood

93769 - 

Yeah

94366 - 

therapist thinks its bipolar disorder and at this point i wouldnt even disagree with him

93769 - 

but im 15 so diagnosis is hard as fuck

93769 - 

they thought it was autism at first but no im just fucked emotionally

93769 - 

so they only just diagnosed you?

94366 - 

if its this intense you’ll probably get one easier than other people under 18

89725 - 

so yeah, ive been suffering with this for the past several weeks. i only reached out for professional help yesterday regarding suicidal idealisation from school

93769 - 

i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 16

89725 - 

thats fair but i feel like my diagnosis is taking way too long, ive been in therapy since 5th grade and these symptoms have been here since 4th grade

93769 - 

only until the last two years i suspected that something was truly wrong with me internally

93769 - 

ive always known that something was weong with me, even as a young child but i guess i never knew the name for it

93769 - 

hi

86800 - 

have they even started prescriibing you medicine yet?

94366 - 

and this is only the past couple of weeks too. my entire life has been hell

93769 - 

hello

86800 - 

wow i m coral today

86800 - 

they cant prescribe medication until the diagnosis is offical

89725 - 

i got discharged from the ED several hours ago, they gave me temporary fluoxetine

93769 - 

Ah

94366 - 

Well it sounds like youre only just beginning to get help addressing the problem

94366 - 

i guess, i just wish it wasnt at such an unfortunate time

93769 - 

This could be the start of something new for you

94366 - 

and they try to avoid medication for young people anyway. unless its like really bad

89725 - 

all my exams are piling up soon. im in 10th grade and its the end of the first semester

93769 - 

i wish they got this shit sorted a year ago or whatever but i guess it was never that serious

93769 - 

in my experience it was serious ive been experiencing the same things over and over again

93769 - 

most of the time they say its just hormones and i wouldnt neccesarily disagree

93769 - 

its easy to get doomery abt upcoming tests yeah

94366 - 

i wish i was normal

89725 - 

but i feel like something is wrong internally and mentally. maybe im just a professional at self victimising

93769 - 

but all you can do is your best. Study well, and youll be doing everything you need to succeed

94366 - 

i need to go apologise to my friend and im so fucking scared of doing that

93769 - 

i wish i didnt act out in public and burst down into tears after the fight

93769 - 

i dont act out in public nowadays

93769 - 

i contain it to myself most of the time and wait for a space to let it out in

93769 -