d

FUCKKK

WHY DOES GOD LET ME LIVE LIKE THIS

JUST LET ME DIE

I was doing so well, then this shit

I fixed a problem nobody has been able to fix for 2 years

I just got this job too

Fuck off

I can't take a bus there

No car, how will I even get to work? My job is 44 miles away

This has gone on too long

One day, I'll work up the courage to kill myself

It's like he hates me

And God won't give to to me despite me asking

I'd rather die than live through the shame

FUck off

Why won't God just let me die

Easily the most painful part

They all think I'm a loser

WHo have wives, kids, families, houses

Not even the lack of money, it's the embarassment of being caught living in a church by other members

The shame of homelessness is the worst part

But still, my emotional brain is hijacking my logical brain

I know God doesn't take pleasure in (most) human suffering

I sometimes tell myself that I see God laughing at me in my mind's eye

It sucks seeing all of your enemies prosper while you fail

I'm so miserable

Just let me die

Fuck off

Why does God bless trash like her, but let me live like this

FUCK HER

Fuck he

And has the gall to call me lazy, despite me working for most of my adult life

THat lazy fat bitch doesn't pay for shit and has tea parties in the middle of the day

I hope she gets brain cancer.

Fuck her

And called me a freeloader for being down on my luck

SHe's a stay at home wife, pays 0 bills

Not even her's, her husband's

Because I crashed at her couch for too long