“Bro that ain’t shawarma, that’s sh-art-ma.”

The shop went silent. A few young lads in the corner started dry-heaving. One of the eshays whispered:

Not a rogue bit of burnt meat. Not a dodgy chunk of lamb fat. Nah. This was the real deal. A full, undeniable, human-made log.

There. Right in the middle of the kebab. A straight-up turd.

Spanian stood there, holding a half-wrapped kebab in his tattooed hand. His face? Pure disgust. His knuckles? White from gripping the pita.

The crowd froze. The grills sizzled. The neon “Open” sign flickered like a horror movie scene.

“THAT’S FULL POO LAD! THAT’S OOTROCKS BRAH!!”

But suddenly, from the back of the shop, there was a blood-curdling yell:

Eshays were posted up at the front, fresh TNs on, vape clouds hanging heavy in the air.

The joint was packed.

It all started on a Friday night, just past midnight.

ikr

===The Poo in the Kebab===

The secret? The garlic sauce ratio. The science of the charcoal meat. The fine balance of kebab chemistry.

That’s right, Spanian’s Kebabs had become the hottest spot in the city.

He wasn’t just spitting bars anymore. He was spinning kebabs.

But lately, his life had taken a new turn.

Sydney City. The heart of the area. The concrete jungle where the eshays roam and the alleyways whisper tales of crime, redemption, and straight-up madness.

Spanian and the Kebab Catastrophe: The Pootrocks Mystery

bye corall - parabola

they all recognise it cos they know how to make the stuff - parabola

hahah its always the chem teachers - parabola

was it ur chem teacher who saw? - parabola

the cocaine formula lol - parabola

*mmmMMMMWAH* *gives u a blig slobbery kiss on ur wrinkly forehead* - parabola

hahah not actually but we would pretend we did - parabola

ooooo is it the raspberry ketone - parabola

cos we were both in the same chem class and we were learning ab the chemical structure of some stuff like berries - parabola

idk atp coral - parabola

and we used to joke that we tweaked on berries lol - parabola

LOL - parabola

i had this big crush on him - parabola

oml i had this guy in my class who used to call himself batman - parabola

hello batman - parabola

yooo cheeksss - parabola

OMGGGGG BERRIES - parabola

guys just popping in to say, vent chat is quite busy 😭😭

hey guys so my ex-teacher, who is 45 years old, just got married to an ex-student at 19 years old. not creepy at all!

`meow`