maybe it’s because i’ve been taught to never express my emotions. i was always told that expressing how i feel in any way makes me a burden, so i guess i never learnt how

96882 - 

i was taught the same green just a bit differently

98390 - 

family issues, guilt, reaching 2 years clean of self harm monday, body issues, failed love life

82367 - 

well first off i'm really proud of you for being almost 2 years clean

98390 - 

its too much to handle rn

82367 - 

thanks

82367 - 

today made me want to relapse but i didnt at least

82367 - 

that says a lot about your strength though i think that's something you should hold onto if you start to feel like maybe you're not a great person

98390 - 

i know lots of people don't feel like a great person but they forget the good things about themselves

98390 - 

so hold onto that because that's really important

98390 - 

and i'm glad you didn't do that today red

98390 - 

im honestly not the greatest person. i have trust issues

82367 - 

I don't know why I didn't kill myself years ago, pretty much nothing has improved and the world is fucking hell bent on getting worse.

264 - 

i know you can make it to 2 years and i think if you keep trying you could make it to 20

98390 - 

but thanks

82367 - 

that's okay red

98390 - 

nobody's perfect

98390 - 

so you said family issues did you wanna talk about that

98390 - 

today my brother blamed me for the family getting torn apart

82367 - 

divorce?

98390 - 

yes but they divorced when i was really young

82367 - 

been there red, i’m sorry, it wasn’t your fault

96882 - 

my relationship with my father is really strained

82367 - 

I don't think i would honestly give a fuck if i were about to die, put me out of my fucking misery

264 - 

how could you be to blame if you were so young? it wasn't your fault

98390 - 

i have a bad relationship with my father too it's okay that you do

98390 - 

the divorce isnt the problem. its my relationship with my dad

82367 - 

cyan you've got a lot of fight in you you can still use it

98390 - 

i don't think you should end your life here cyan

98390 - 

my relationship with both of my parents is fucked in different ways

96882 - 

i get that red i'm sorry your relationship isn't great

98390 - 

he used to be verbally abusive to me and sometimes he still lashes out in little ways

82367 - 

i'm sorry green do you want to talk about it

98390 - 

and after his outburst in january 2024 ive gone minimal contact

82367 - 

that sucks red i'm real sorry it sucks to be treated like that nobody deserves that

98390 - 

test

99725 - 

he’s never taken responsibility for his actions and pretends that he doesnt remember them happening

82367 - 

hi blue

98390 - 

hi yellow

99725 - 

so i gave up on him

82367 -