Stuck living half-alive in a body I dont even want

Until then though Im stuck like this

Professional help

I think I need help

When will I start to feel real

When does it get better

Im so tired of all this

Im tired

I don't think I know

What does it even mean to be human

It's so exhausting pretending I feel normal all the time, when inside I'm actually so lost at how to live

I feel like I don't know how to be a human. I just feel so wrong in my body all the time. I feel like I don't know how to act, or to properly react, or to even be alive at all