I wanna get into maths one day

94469 - 

yeah, I can't do anything with the degree though

93899 - 

i can't even shower without passing out anymore, even when im sitting down. every movement is so strenuous

94470 - 

im scared i got no plan for da future but thats fine

94469 - 

most jobs with that requirement probably won't accept me in

93899 - 

waaaaaaa

94469 - 

why do i have to be fat as an anorexic, why cant i just be what i want to? why do people have to care

94470 - 

yea

93899 - 

this reminded me of a thought

94469 - 

it's so exhausting and i know i'll never be taken seriously

94470 - 

I think everybody actually works hard in some way

94469 - 

if you really think sbout it

94469 - 

they said i looked fine externally. they have no idea the absolute HELL i go thorugh EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

94470 - 

That makes sense I think

93899 - 

at some point everyone is working hard to get just a bit higher or survive perhaps

94469 - 

And we just praise the hard work which results in the most obvious benefit

94469 - 

feeling my heart slow gradually, more and more. feeling every sluggish agonizing second as my mobiltiy decreases and i slowly lose more and more memory from my malnourished brain

94470 - 

i can't even remember most of my own childhood anymore

94470 - 

it's all numbers, how compressed can i be? how much can i lock my skin to my bones

94470 - 

my mind is a prison that i cannot escape, and i feel ridiculous for it

94470 - 

the midnight gets cold quick

94469 - 

it's still kind of warm here

93899 - 

im so irrational it's so stupid. i wish i could just be bones, or disappear. to never even be known, ever. to be truly free

94470 - 

📑

94469 - 

shameful and disgusting, so much of a waste of what i've been given

94470 - 

im a disappointment and i hope that this disease ends me soon. i hope it's just as painful as i think it will be, or more.

94470 - 

📹

94469 - 

maybe then i could die with some dignity.

94470 - 

🖲️

94469 - 

🗜️

94469 - 

🏘️

94469 - 

🥀

93899 - 

🛻

94469 - 

i want to kill myself

89725 - 

Fire

94469 - 

bambadam

93899 - 

sometimes i wish i could just get blades again and rip myself open, see how much FAT im harboring again

94470 - 

a reminder to myself of why i am being tortured

94470 - 

i deserve ALL of this. no matter how much i complain

94470 - 

consequences hurt and if i truly want something i will sacrifice myself and my relationship with others to get it.

94470 -