and yet

66349 - 

it gives me some sort of fake joy in the meantime for some reason

66349 - 

i can't help but be depressed and al

66349 - 

all

66349 - 

i can't really tell if someone's mad at me, or if their pleased by my act

66349 - 

that i just fake it until they are

66349 - 

satisfied by their pleasure

66349 - 

off of my suffering

66349 - 

but

66349 - 

i can't help but snap sometimes

66349 - 

for the thought of them being maddened by me when all i am doing is simply trying my best

66349 - 

strikes a nerve inside of me

66349 - 

i can't help but be nasty and break this little clown face that i've carefully pieced together

66349 - 

and i'm sorry about that

66349 - 

i don't mean to hurt others

66349 - 

i don't want to be mean

66349 - 

i don't want to be seen as a nasty person

66349 - 

i'm not a monster

66349 - 

i'm a human

66349 - 

right?

66349 - 

aren't i?

66349 - 

but

66349 - 

i can't help but feel as if i'm everything BUT a human no more

66349 - 

I've been feeling down the past four day's but idk why and just had a fucking breakdown

86028 - 

i've felt as if i've lost my humanity

66349 - 

perhapss i've lost it a long time ago

66349 - 

perchance i've never had it at all

66349 - 

i don't know

66349 - 

i've deceived so much people in my life before

66349 - 

have i really deceived myself as well?

66349 - 

i can't tell.

66349 - 

i'm nothing.

66349 - 

i'll always be nothing

66349 - 

oh yeah, just bunch the estranged people with the garbage since we don't live up to your standards

66349 - 

that's sooo totalllyyyyy coooooollll

66349 - 

i totally dooonnnt mind

66349 - 

no

66349 - 

actually,

66349 - 

i DO mind, thank you very much

66349 - 

even though i've lost my humanity,

66349 -