But if I change my surname, I'd lose my auspicious destiny

I was never meant to be part of this family

Constantly being compared, never being supported

I wish I was never born if I'm stuck with this family

Easier said than done.

My best bet is to avoid contact with this family, head straight to my bedroom everyday, and never speak again in this household.

But if I don't snap now, when? I don't own my own bank account yet. My mother withdrew my education fund to invest in gold without informing me. Things are too unstable for me.

It's not smart to snap now

I still have to remain in this house for years

My father already coddles me, likely as a result of his guilt for my attempted murder, and snapping will pitentially offset it to the point where he becomes estranged from the family