the idea that I didn't do enough, that I could have done more, that she could still be here

50130 - 

i was probably the only person that knew , and yet I did nothing

50130 - 

I can't believe I did nothing

50130 - 

I didn't think it was urgent, why didn't i

50130 - 

things could have been so different for so many people

50130 - 

everyone is biased too

50131 - 

and i have no one to blame but myself

50130 - 

they keep on saying they know what I said but they don't

50131 - 

they say what I didn't say so I am upset and people a problem with my presence and I have just the right to be there as they do

50131 - 

I'm unsure if i feel like myself or an extension of how others perceive me

50132 - 

It's probably the latter ...

50132 - 

I also wanted to say that everyone is attacking me in the USA, a lot of people are abusing their power and treating me worse than I deserve

50131 - 

she was nice to everyone else to the end

50130 - 

she was really something special

50130 - 

people like everyone else but when I come around people have the issue to reject and single me out so I hate the people in my life.

50131 - 

urge*

50131 - 

Did you lo

50132 - 

people say go somewhere else but no it doesn't matter. I keep meeting the same people over and over.

50131 - 

*

50132 - 

Why are my messages sending themselves =-=

50132 - 

Did u lose someone, cyan?

50132 - 

yes and it was my fault

50130 - 

I am sick of people acting like they know my life more than me because they don't know me and my lfie and it makes me sick they tell me they want to help and they love me.

50131 - 

people have no right to say they love me because I didn't give them permission.

50131 - 

life*

50131 - 

I see... Please don't blame yourself for something like that ;;

50132 - 

I didn't give them permission because everyone abuses me.

50131 - 

there is no one else to blame, I was the only one that knew about how she felt

50130 - 

I could have done something and I chose not to

50130 - 

I dont know why, but I didnt

50130 - 

And now i have to live with that

50130 - 

it makes me sick, and I wish I was dead because I am tired of people saying they want to help and they love me and they abuse me and they deny it to. I am so fed up.

50131 - 

I don't sometimes I believe I am better off dead.

50131 - 

it is never going to stop

50131 - 

i dont know if i deserve to be happy after what i did

50130 - 

In so so sorry, cyan,, please don't blame yourself bc even if u knew, nobody prepared u for that & idt it's obvious when something is serious in that way

50132 - 

she made it obvious

50130 - 

like i said i was the only one that knew

50130 - 

i knew how serious it was

50130 - 

i just didnt think itd happen so fast

50130 -