or graduation

43850 - 

so part of the reason i don't od on the pills my mom has that i KNOW i'm allergic to is because i wouldn't want him to find my body

46110 - 

qnd my friends always ask me if ill do drugs or drink and i just cant help but think i HAVE to stay away from that stuff or i will actually have a problem

46174 - 

but some days its tempting to just take them, go to sleep, and never wake up

46110 - 

I cannot even a little bit begin to do that stuff i dont trust myself

46174 - 

bye yall

43850 - 

especially with my familys history

46174 - 

it's getting close to the anniversary of my pet dying and i realize that i'm just as down as i was last year, if anything i've gotten worse

46110 - 

its like everyones expecting me to make that mistake like im bound to i cant

46174 - 

itll just prove them right

46174 - 

it feels like my life is just going down, down, down

46110 - 

i don't know why my brain can't just stop staring at a blank screen and actually do my work

46110 - 

im really just trying to do things right but even without doing stupid things like drugs or alcohol or partying i find a way to fuck things up

46174 - 

i miss being in middle school and high school and being able to actually *do* my homework

46110 - 

Why does everyonr expect me to fail

46174 - 

is that all they think about me

46174 - 

why cant i seem to try as hard as they want to me or the way i see them themselves try

46174 - 

maybe i dont believe i can hard enough

46174 - 

itd be easier if i had anyone that had hope in me

46174 - 

i dont understand what i did to make them feel like im such a failure

46174 - 

Red, that has to be the most deep, honest writing I have seen on here- ever

36213 - 

maybe only I think that of myself

46174 - 

I can never seem to hope ill actually succeed

46174 - 

maybe it makes falling down hurt less when i anticipate it

46174 - 

i was never destined for anything i wanted to feel lik i was so maybe one day id be part of something

46174 - 

ive never felt part of something

46174 - 

maybe i just estrange myself because of the things ive always been told idk

46174 - 

i never felt good enough to earn companionship or be part of something and i always see myself going the extra mile to earn it like it needs to be bought

46174 - 

I use to be more of a doormat and i thought now was different that ive become my own person but still in a different way i let people own me

46174 - 

its no ones fault and i do it so naturally but ive been told im fake

46174 - 

Jyhkoqlqka

46180 - 

since birth ive felt below even animals that were worthy of love and compassion

46174 - 

they didnt need to earn it somehow i did

46174 - 

Im gonna loose it

46180 - 

lose

46174 - 

Do you ecer just hate someone so much you want to smash your hesd against a wall

46180 - 

And rip your hair out

46180 - 

No

46174 - 

I guess it better that t

46180 - 

I hate so much

46180 -