i am manipulative towards my family

37030 - 

i am not a good prson

37030 - 

there is no reason for me to live

37030 - 

i hurt everyone

37030 - 

part one fucking million of wanting to bash my head into a wall !!!

39422 - 

its always about me me me me me

37030 - 

but that is the issue with life goals and meaning. all meaning in your life is decided by you. you choose what your life is for. that is what everyone must do. if you want meaning, you must choose it.

157 - 

im supposed to do so many things everyday rhhrngnfhhrhrh and i never do ANy of it

39422 - 

I may not be ready now but I may never be ready for it so God please give me love now! Just one person that understands me and loves me back, I promise to cherish them for the rest of my life

39115 - 

and im gonna have to do so much homework soon

39422 - 

im so goddamn stupid i cant do anything

39422 - 

im struggling to just take care of myself how do you expect me to do goddamn homework

39422 - 

Not to be demanding...I know I'm lacking as a person and I have never dated in my life

39115 - 

i barely even do take care of myself

39422 - 

I'm retarded

39423 - 

you have to decide i am living for whatever it maybe and give it your human faith. you dont need spirituality or religion for a belief, if those words bother you as they do some..

157 - 

i cant fucking take it anymore

39424 - 

But I have so much love in my heart to give and while I'm trying to spread that around for everyone, I would like a person just for me (as selfish as that sounds)

39115 - 

Being retarded is quite hard

39423 - 

Life is hard for me

39423 - 

why is everything annoying

39424 - 

i fucking hate being autistic and mentally ill !!!!! ohhhh do you wanna try to do something else today thatll be better for you ???

39422 - 

NOPE!! SORRY !!!!! SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY GETTING NOTHING DONE AND JUST THINKING ABOUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING HYPERFIXATION

39422 - 

All my life I've tried telling myself I'm not a romantic but deep down I'd like for someone to love me for who I am (and I'd love them back)

39115 - 

I'm trying to stop busting so many nuts

39423 - 

like there is legit nothing good in life that isnt temporary

39424 - 

I bust 4 nuts a day

39423 - 

im terrible at everything i do

39422 - 

It's a lot, I need to stop watching porn

39423 - 

i mean yeah common things like bonding with family, a job that makes you happy, etc

39424 - 

but due to mental illness those things just dont click

39424 - 

i hate this city i hate this family i hate this house

39422 - 

even if you don't believe in any sort of spirituality, it still helps you understand the world and yourself. these ideas shaped our world. they have impacted billions of lives. for better or worse--

157 - 

I'm not actually that passionate and I don't want a grand romance but I'm still a lover at heart

39115 - 

Some days I just want to be a rat scavenging for food

39423 - 

god i fucking hate this molding house

39422 - 

I want to be a retarded pet rat for a rich family

39423 - 

i want to move out of this house so badly

39422 - 

also if anyone is trying to be supportive in this chat, and replying to my messages, please dont. i wont read them nor awnser.

39424 - 

Actually what I want more than anything is a companion for life...I don't care about physical intimacy but I do want someone by my side through thick and thin

39115 -