I know i have a therapist

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And a psychiatrist

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ok

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i had therapy

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i need to take antipsychotics and antidepressants but i dont take them

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i think

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he was a child psychologist or sum

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Have u always felt that way about food white?

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because i think my doctors could poison me

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Oh oops im red now

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I seen a psychologist my mom knows nothing about

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oh ur red now

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with the meds?

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I have a friend who aint vaccinated for that same reason

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her parents did not allow her to

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they thought she would get poisoned

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I just cant eat anything unless i keep an eye on it

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i have to hide it and cook it only at nighy secretly

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do you have a way to lock up your foods?

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now she has asadly developed a fear of germs bcs of it

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So nobody can get close to it

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Sometimes i sit and i think about how different my life could have been if i never met him or if i was "normal"

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And im not taking my pills yes i hallucinate but i dont trust my doctor not to poison me

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Maybe i could've lived and enjoyed my teenage years

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Id rather have psychosis than get poisoned

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Have u talked to ur doctors about it?

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maybe they could give u some other soloution

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that could help

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Like what

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I cant know they wont hurt me

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I hate that im so paranoid but i cant stop

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That's got to be really hard. Especially on a daily basis

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And i got so skinny and for some reason nobody understands that im not anorexic

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yeah sounds very diffucult to do normal day to day activities

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well u do not owe them an explenation

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I spend more time trying to figure out wtf is wrong with me rather than being "normal". I can never just be a normal guy, people beat me regardless of what i do or how i act

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beat me, beat?

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Phyical violence and shit

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i feel so excluded

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:(

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