i dont know who i am anymore and i feel like ive just deluded myself into a really problematic lie

12502 - 

There's always someone who does

35737 - 

i think i have maladapative daydreaming

35734 - 

what if im just a hypochondriac

12502 - 

whatever tf the word is 💀

35734 - 

maladap

35734 - 

mala

35734 - 

i cant fucking spell

35734 - 

Oh ive dealt with that

35737 - 

💀.

35734 - 

Hypochondriac red?

35737 - 

i really dont like feeling like this

12502 - 

yes

12502 - 

Does it make you feel bad to daydream blue?

35737 - 

i will literally spend hours making up scenarios

35734 - 

but at the same time ifi do have what i think i have feeling fear is kind of normal so idont knwo anymore

12502 - 

i think it’s turning into a coping mechanism

35734 - 

it doesnt help tht i have serious anxiety disorders

12502 - 

it’s becoming addictive

35734 - 

Hypochondriasis is based on anxiety ik it may sound insensitive but you may need to not listen to it and let go

35737 - 

it feels wrongot ignore

12502 - 

i have a whole fake friend group in my head

35734 - 

i really need t otalk to a professional

12502 - 

Well considering your situation it makes sense u would develop soenthing like that blue

35737 - 

like as soon as possible

12502 - 

that’s not normal is it?

35734 - 

You totally should red, thats a good first step!

35737 - 

im not in danger but i really dont want this to devolve int something it isnt if i dont have this and my brain is just making it all up

12502 - 

Ive tried to kill myself more than 20 times theres no one who can help me i have nobody nobody cares just kill me so that the thoughts and the scrams go away please die

35736 - 

I wouldn't say thats its normal, but its not awful either

35737 - 

what sucks though is that i wanna deny it so bad but it just feels wrong

12502 - 

and i dont know what osrt of hotline/warmline i could even contact about this

12502 - 

to get some temporary help right now

12502 - 

Yeah a professional will help you determine whats best for your case red

35737 - 

or solae i guess

12502 - 

solace**

12502 - 

i just dont know how to bring it up

12502 - 

988 is good

35737 - 

too scared to call 988 i dont want to get institutionalized

12502 - 

I talk there when i feel overwhelmed

35737 -