but it feels like im gonna explide

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im a literal ticking bomb

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my whole body is shaking

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i just want to live in peace

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you cant blame me for being mad tho

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i dont like her

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and he continusles to talk to her

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honestly he should hs go w her

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shes pretty i guess

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shes short

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they get along

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she was there for him when me and him broke up

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and now shes there for him when we’re together

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i hate that

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Thinking about how my parents treat me and thinking about about relapsing

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my whole body is so tense but so shaky at the same time

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shes not even the problem atp

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its him

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maybe its me

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i think it is

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i like to tell myself that im the greatest person ever just to feel better about the fact that i cant change

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then people tel me to quit pitying myself

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i rarely even get to

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because no matter how hard you try youll never know whats going thru someones head

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i have a good life

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im privilaged enough

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byt its just the way my mind works

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i can control it

22620 - 

and that scares me

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vecause every time i have an anger attack i tell myself that i need to do something impulsive

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thatll get my mind off it

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but im scared one day itll be so impulsive i’ll killmyself

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becuase i dont know what i want

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i dont know if i hate him because im mad at him

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or if i love him when we’re okay

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but we’re never okay

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theres always something

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hello

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i want to hurt him

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emotionally

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