ive never felt snything else but depressed and now im starting to get better but its strange and i want to hit rock bottom again

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<today i literally got myself horny on purpose to avoid being sad all day wtf

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im constantly picturing myself slicing my wrists open

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wait what

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they are so vivid

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it feels like im doing it

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well that is disturbing

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they flash before my eyes all the time

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<i lowkey would like to sleep forever

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<but with dreaming

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<so ik im not dead

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<because i know i cant take reality right now

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<i keep escaping it

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<at all costs

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<i dont really want to die

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<but im scared im falling into depression

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every single small sound i hear makes me picture of horrible gore scenes are extremely vivid

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i keep seeing people dying in my head

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<and id rather die than feel everyday like fucking hell

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i think yellow is unwell

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<i think most people here are unwell

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<to a worrying extent

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hey guysssss -marissa (m.m)

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<god im so disociated again

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<hi mm

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when i was a kid ive seen people hit their heads or other stuff happening go them snd theyd be in pools of blood

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yellow lisen just because you see these thins are not reason to panic i aslo create weird disturbing scenarios when i am really stressed ou

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hruuu guys -marissa

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out

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that was real

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oh yellow.....

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but for me it got better you see

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bur now im seeing things

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do u have ptsd from that?

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<i am feeling masochistic

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been like this for a ehile

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<might aswell make me suffer

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oh wow red :(

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today was a pretty good monday!!

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<wanna insult me'

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