I just spent nearly two houes coming to terms with my situation which is as it appears terrible

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every outcome means someone I love could die

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or i could die

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that being said i also have a horrible secret to feel guilty over

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trauma bond, they sing , ... its not you..., 😞

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i dont think theres any hope left for humanity. not after this week.

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i just want my sister to be ok, i will accept it if the others are too far gone

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so far gone...

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and welcome to today's episode of me crying hopelessly on the bathroom floor---

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anywho

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i have issues i genuinely think are a complteley imporbable thing for a persob to experience

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and yet they have happened

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i cant tolerate this anymore something needs to happen soon xd

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i have figured out what i must do

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reeling back... music

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but it will be very difficult and I am very scared

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I honestly am not sure if I will survive

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or if surviving will be worth it

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i have a feeling my medication is doing something to my appetite

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how soon, is it urgent

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i want the news of a death soon and i want all this shit to stop xd

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i want that bitch to die and i want to hear about it now xd

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it hurts

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everytime i take them i can't eat anything the whole day and when i do i hate the taste

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if he dies all this bullshit will be over xd

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im so scared i feel physical pain in my chest

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not that i mind cause we don't have food right now but

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why would i take meds that don't only not help me but that also make me starve

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every fucking day i all i wanna hear is the news that my "dad" is dead xd

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i’ve lost my mind to an extent i dont think someone can truly come back from

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and on a very fundamental level i feel inhuman

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these are deep emotional, learning towards self compassion

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the longer that fucker rots in one place its my time thats being wasted xd

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he needs to die xd

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imma vent (rant) a little in The Kid at the Back terms lol dont mind me

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i love my friends so much I'm reminded dxactly why I love being with them and why they make me feel so appreciated and cared for

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vent

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him and his whore both needs to die xd

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i hope that fucker dies in the hospital and his whore gets hit by a truck xd

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It is better for my mother to hate me than know the truth

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