A's caught my attention since the moment i saw them

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we spoke, added each other on social media, and somehow try to see each other while at work

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alas, we're not fated to be

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I won't pretend that i don't have feelings for her, I'm honestly attracted to both of them, thought i wouldn't try anything with either of them unless the other was 100% fine with it

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we tried maintaining a distance from each other

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i asked A if we could hang out as "friends" and A agreed "as friends" :D

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the truth of the matter is

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our feelings run deeper than that

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i obviously don't "love" him! love is a deep feeling

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rather, im attracted to him

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and the feelings resurface whenever i see him

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and i hate it

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i fit into those standards a little bit

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and i try to learn the language/culture - for fun as friends

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Besides, I've already got 2 loving partners across the ocean, and i personally want to have a chance to make that polycule work before I even think about add more people to it

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Polyamory is complicated

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i had to deactivate my social media account

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to stop well, obsessing over him

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he's accepting of it too

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i wish he rejected me more

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instead of staying quiet

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nit saying anything

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but wanting to exchange our pincodes

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and i did have his pincode

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And phone number

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and social media

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and see him on a regular basis

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initially he hated seeing me talk to other guys

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i enjoyed it tbh

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and stopped chatting with a female coworker mid conversation because i looked... sad/pissed? 😆

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or how he had to show the new employee around

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and still took time to check inw me

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oh bot

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i should stop talking about this

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ROADBLOCKS FOR ROADHOGS

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my feelings could get deeper

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i should let it slide

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let it be

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after all we aren't meant to be

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bye A <3

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