Disgusting

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Numbing myself to the pain- burning

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Of coming home everyday

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The need to be anywhere but here

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Wish i didnt have to beg for affection

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But here is safe, right..?

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Others dont seem to try

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Just dont care, I just have to stop caring

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If i dont care then i’ll never need love

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If i dont care then ill never need anyone but myself

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Well.. not when home isn’t safe.

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Not anymore.

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Not since mom wanted to leave and dad stopped coming home until 12.

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Not since smoke was the only thing that could lift me up..

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You know it’s true and it drives you crazy

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And vodka promised to drown me in happiness.

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I’m insane.

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Too much, too soon

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My eyes trun to scribbles, my hand falter on my page.

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Dirt is in my eyes.

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I’ll never be enough because i give too much

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I can’t see.\

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i feel like such a burden to everyone

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But i love the pain

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I love it.

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Reciprocal is not something that’s guaranteed

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And you’re an idiot for thinking that it is

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I love the way the blade traces kisses into my skin that leaves crimson lipstick drippping.

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How bleach burnes down my throat.

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And i’ll repeat it all over agin the next fucking day.

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Pride is such a fake facade

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Fuck. I need to sleep. 6 days..

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6 fucking days.

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I’ve been awake.

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How are you even alive

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I dont.. want to be.

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That’s how.

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Life takes pity on me.

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P\laughs at me.

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Life takes pity on no one

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