i just got back to my dorm

82335 - 

im supposed to be doing great though

95958 - 

then i start college in august for 12 fucking years

82335 - 

i just cant focus or regulate my emotions and im constantly ruminating about anything

95958 - 

and nobody can fucking fix it

95958 - 

because it all starts from nightmares or arguments or an embarrassment in public

95958 - 

i find it really hard to feel ok

95958 - 

autism doesnt even matter the social aspects of my life dont matter

95958 - 

its just my fucking ocd

95958 - 

it makes everything worse

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and i probably wouldnt have it if i wasnt assaulted

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wouldnt have been bullied as much

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well idk

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i knew girls stopped liking me because i wasnt showering and brushing my teeth and hair

95958 - 

refused to talk about puberty because i was so afraid of it manifesting because of my dad

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even though it was destined to happen to me anyway

95958 - 

its fine

95958 - 

none of this matters

95958 - 

the fuck am i even going on about

95958 - 

im diagnosed now so i can get a support worker to help me

95958 - 

be less stupid

95958 - 

i can go outside and go on buses and trains and walk across roads

95958 - 

without fainting or throwing up

95958 - 

so useless

95958 - 

i am trying though i am

95958 - 

i havent been purposefully letting my life go to shit

95958 - 

if i were i would be smoking and drinking like my dad

95958 - 

i wouldnt be a year clean from sh

95958 - 

actually though lol i might die from this

95958 - 

and none of it will matter

95958 - 

im on so many different pills i could go right now

95958 - 

i have a whole bag

95958 - 

yes and this is why im going on mood stabilisers

95958 - 

this is crazy

95958 - 

hi

91728 - 

i want to end it

91728 - 

i'm on a shit ton of meds and they dont do shit

91728 - 

smoking again

91728 - 

<hii

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<anyone there

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