i need stuff to happen to me so i can finally remember .sali

85269 - 

it's late .sali

85269 - 

hello

70819 - 

how come no one is here

70819 - 

anymore

70819 - 

I am

95383 - 

hi

70819 - 

hi?

70819 - 

gg ig chat dead

70819 - 

Killed myself

95383 - 

All people do is confirm exactly why I don't like them.

63178 - 

oh my gosh i feel horrible let's go to bed .sali

85269 - 

I’ve recently been relapsing in my thoughts

91209 - 

I cant sleep and all I think about is the person who ruined me

91209 - 

I have panic attacks almost every night. It wont go away

91209 - 

I live in fear, wondering if they will come back to hurt me and my family

91209 - 

I want to tell my mother about what happened, but im scared she will be disgusted with me

91209 - 

I am disgusting and i feel terrible for being her child

91209 - 

I love her so much and i couldn’t possibly hurt her

91209 - 

The incident is to recent, if i tell her it will only cause problems

91209 - 

I am stuck here sitting in my own fears and paranoia

91209 - 

I cant tell anyone I know

91209 - 

Im tired of feeling scared

91209 - 

I’m sorry, mom.

91209 - 

I'm addicted to picking at my SH scabs..

95187 - 

its not subconscious, like nail biting or cheek biting is.

95187 - 

I do it on purpose.

95187 - 

I like the pain it bring when I pick all of the scab off, sometimes even normal skin thats attatched

95187 - 

and I like seeing it bleed once more.

95187 - 

I do it for the pain, and the blood. But I also do it for the hope that the scar will last longer once it finally heals.

95187 - 

that the scar won't fade. That its more visible than my other ones.. my goal is so pick at a SH scab so much that it keloids.

95187 - 

I know, depth andall of that is the main factor for a keloid. But picking at it the second it scabs is also a nice way for it to keloid..

95187 - 

Fucked up, Ikr. But I dont have anyone to go to. And if I'm being honest??.. i dont want help.

95187 - 

Im not scared to get help. I just dont want it

95187 - 

Ive gotten to the point, a while ago, where I dont even feel mental or emotional pain anymore.

95187 - 

I dont remember the last time I cried, or the last time I wished I was normal

95187 - 

instead, I wish to watch myself slowly kill myself. My own fucked up mind finds happiness at the thought of that..

95187 - 

so no, I dont want help, and I certainly dont want to "get better".

95187 - 

i cant fucking wait to die. i want nothing more than to be a corpse. to be free and never fucking suffer again

95525 - 

ill find bliss in the top half of my skull to be somewhere else. i cant stand living in this fucking flesh rotting off of me

95525 -