mhm okay byee cell take care of yrself !!!

94363 - 

well alr, its almost time i should go too

94362 - 

i hope we meet againn

94363 - 

byeeeee pls do tc <33

94362 - 

sure!!

94362 - 

byyee !!! <3

94363 - 

ill take care u take care too love

94363 - 

hellooo :)

48893 - 

i feel so nervous going outside because i have no idea how other people see me

94364 - 

i havent had any friends for a while and i dont speak to anyone at school

94364 - 

havent spoken to anyone other than a teacher for probably about 4 or 5 years now

94364 - 

all of a sudden everyone is different

94364 - 

social etiquettes are different we're all grown up

94364 - 

obviously i know that because im grown up and i feel it

94364 - 

but i guess it feels a bit different because i havent had a proper social life since i was 10

94364 - 

idk how to be normal

94364 - 

i can wear makeup and dress to a point that other girls will compliment me in passing

94364 - 

but nobody actually can stand a conversation with me

94364 - 

i mean ive only just recently learnt in the past year or two how to smile at strangers properly

94364 - 

ive had to relearn a lot of things

94364 - 

my brain reset when i was sexually assaulted i think

94364 - 

it happened and that was that but it was also everything before and after

94364 - 

like how i stopped fitting in because i refused to shower and stuff because of the abuse

94364 - 

lowkey friendship is not fun though

94364 - 

well my only experience is child friendships

94364 - 

so it doesnt mean anything

94364 - 

actually it kind of does

94364 - 

comparing that to the way girls at 18 act now

94364 - 

i just dont know

94364 - 

i dont want to be in any kind of relationship ever

94364 - 

idk

94364 - 

im an adult soon i should be normal and good

94364 - 

study get married have children work socialise

94364 - 

im just scared of men and of the social hierarchy women make

94364 - 

im overthinking

94364 - 

i actually need to get a job though

94364 - 

i wanna be happy

94364 - 

none of this anxiety trauma shit

94364 - 

ocd is the reason im depressed

94364 - 

but im on the highest dose of a medication for ocd

94364 -