only reason im just going along is prolly because i think i have to not because i want to or care about future xd

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and whatever shit i learn i dont care for it xd

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im just here doing all this bullshit for the sake of it theres no love for it or care for what i learn xd

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its hard to learn when you have no interest or care xd

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i just want bootcamp to end xd

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i dont want to do this anymore and just wanna give up and quit xd

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forget about a future there is nothing there xd

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i just genuinely dont dare for anything xd

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care :/ xd

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it suck being apathetic but fr i think only thing in my mind is just hang around for a while and end my life :p xd

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so easier option is prolly just ingrained in my mind that if life gets hard death is an option xd

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death is always an option xd

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so i always have an escape xd

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whats wrong with complacency do i care it wont matter if i do anything or nothing xd

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in the end its useless xd

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just tried to hang myself now i’m watching my little pony

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meaningless futile efforts when my life is already half burnt xd

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what is there for me left xd

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two and a half more decades of my late years LMFAO xd

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theres nothing left no more xd

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when the beginning is fucked whats the use of the ending xd

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the end happens when start gets ruined xs

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:p xd

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keep asking myself why bother xd

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my life is ruined anyway xd

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by my parents xd

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why care about the next decade xd

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three decades of my life is gone almost xd

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im here tryna save what? my thirties fourties LMFAO i will be fucking old xd

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when youre old your life is fucking over xd

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so why bother mine is over xd

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i dont have goals xd

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what for xd

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what is there to look forward to LMFAO ageing? xd

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back in december i was in a hospital for atempted suicide and my girlfriend left me for another guy when i was in the hospital then dumped me the day i got out and got raped in class by the same guy

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well think i should just sleep at leasy 45mins more xd

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im fucking tired xd

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i have no drive and idgaf about competition in life or future xd

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i just want all this to stop so i can be free xd

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im tired of existence xd

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