this is very embarrassing but ig its anon but sometimes im literally so scared and paralyzed i end up pissing myself. it doest happen alot. an its ususlly not a lot that comes out - ashie

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zero regular season hockey zero regular season volleyball - r

98390 - 

i'm so fucking mad - r

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I think thats normal - Nana

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its awful out in public though. ive had it a few times out and about - ashie

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Gonna head out - Liam

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Later - Liam

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be safe liam - r

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well i always had problems but the fact its still a thing is awful - ashie

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Bye liam - Soda

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bye bye - ashie

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Bayy - Nana

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its just i feel this disconnect with people now - ashie

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Im in deep fesr of the future - Nana

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What's on your mind? - r

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sorry i was jut writing the thing - r

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cause it goes from white to gray when you do that - r

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For that same reason, i do not know how to connect, but thats because of the autism - Nana

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i am in so much fucking pain right now gng - r

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i think the fact i was raped so much is a huge turn off for guys - ashie

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ive asked some guys abt it - ashie

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i'm a guy nd i don't think so - r

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and theyre always ok with a small amount - ashie

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but like most my childhood - ashie

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I dont think that should be a reason of judging if you like someone or not - Nana

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yeah it's not about your past trauma it's about connection and stuff - r

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but i still think its gross idk - ashie

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i don't know about other guys but if i felt connected to someone and then learned she went through all that i'd still love her the same - r

98390 - 

It is, the rapist is gross, you are not - Nana

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the fact it was so many. ive had a dog in me. i had a diagnosed schizophrenic guys baby in me at just fucking 15. i was literally hospitalized at one point. i feel like how "used up" i am is abit disg - ashie

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I been talking to this guy, fell in love with him last year - Nana

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i think i will have to lie to people perhaps - ashie

94042 - 

Its okay to lie - Nana

100870 - 

the whole situation is gross - ashie

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i think you could just not tell people about it and then later if you feel like there's a real connection between you and them then there's enoguh trust to maybe let them in - r

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ive never had actual sex before. im just scared im going to freak out and if they dont know ill upset them - ashie

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I just wished he loved me, care for me i only want to be loved and not judged - Nana

100870 - 

it's okay to tell someone you're not ready for sex - r

98390 - 

if that someone loves you they won't get mad - r

98390 - 

sex is super scary but i feel like im missng out on this amazing thing that every mammal ever does and im just to broken - ashie

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