What am i doing here

100631 - 

I lift up the people that matter and they'll use my lift to leave me behind some day. And when they do, I'll finally be able to end it, without hurting anyone, with no one grieving.

100629 - 

That's my ticket out of suffering. Because the dreams I have, the things I really want to do, that would make me enjoy life, I'm not capable of achieving. Never will be.

100629 - 

I'm a stepping stone for everyone else. And I will be until the day I die.

100629 - 

That's my purpose, to help the people that matter

100629 - 

cassie - THEODORE

99961 - 

if ayaw mo makipag usap fine - THEODORE

99961 - 

The people that will actually go on to make a difference in this world and enjoy themselves. At least I could make them a little happier, I suppose. In the end I guess how I feel doesn't matter.

100629 - 

Why would how I feel matter. I'm just me. It's always just been me.

100629 - 

hope u succed - THEODORE

99961 - 

There is no hope.

100629 - 

i mean in ur plan - THEODORE

99961 - 

To die? thank you

100629 - 

i want to kill myself too thats why i know that feeling - THEODORE

99961 - 

Though it's less of a plan and more of an inevitablility, either people stop caring or I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway because I cannot do this anymore

100629 - 

I hate myself so much

100629 - 

i know - THEODORE

99961 - 

I read back the things I type and realize how dumb and unlikeable I am. How much I would hate to meet someone like me. I have no idea how people ever put up with me

100629 - 

actually - THEODORE

99961 - 

i like ur personality - THEODORE

99961 - 

But whatever. That's just how I feel, how I feel has never been important to anyone.

100629 - 

i thought im the only one - THEODORE

99961 - 

thats why i wanna talk u in private before u ended - THEODORE

99961 - 

itr - THEODORE

99961 - 

People only care if how I feel ends up affecting something in a way they notice. Only care if I can't make them as happy because I'm a little down.

100629 - 

dude - THEODORE

99961 - 

i know that feeling - THEODORE

99961 - 

It's always about how everyone else feels. That's all my life has ever been about, all it ever will be about, as long as I'm breathing.

100629 - 

im gonna die anytime too - THEODORE

99961 - 

if u dont wanna talk to me in private fine - THEODORE

99961 - 

i just to tell something - THEODORE

99961 - 

but im not trying to encouragee u - THEODORE

99961 - 

I wonder how I would do it, when the time comes

100629 - 

i gotta go - THEODORE

99961 - 

Maybe Id drive somewhere with a bridge, and jump. I have plenty of places I can drive to.

100629 - 

ur not able to talk so.. - THEODORE

99961 - 

I feel worthless

100632 - 

Guns have never been appealing to me, too much mess. Pills are not guaranteed to work. Honestly height feels like the best way.

100629 - 

I feel like I'll never achieve any of my dreams

100632 - 

how abt stabbing ur self - THEODORE

99961 -