But whatever. I guess I should journal this out rather than writing here, I'm just bothering everyone else now. I'm sorry. I'll be going.

Guns have never been appealing to me, too much mess. Pills are not guaranteed to work. Honestly height feels like the best way.

Maybe Id drive somewhere with a bridge, and jump. I have plenty of places I can drive to.

I wonder how I would do it, when the time comes

It's always about how everyone else feels. That's all my life has ever been about, all it ever will be about, as long as I'm breathing.

People only care if how I feel ends up affecting something in a way they notice. Only care if I can't make them as happy because I'm a little down.

But whatever. That's just how I feel, how I feel has never been important to anyone.

I read back the things I type and realize how dumb and unlikeable I am. How much I would hate to meet someone like me. I have no idea how people ever put up with me

I hate myself so much

Though it's less of a plan and more of an inevitablility, either people stop caring or I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway because I cannot do this anymore