my schedule is cooked - MacReady

its almost 6 am here - MacReady

im doin - MacReady

literally my whole life post high school has been learning how to be a real human being - MacReady

thanks :) - MacReady

cya purple - MacReady

so im always scared that im still like them - MacReady

my friends in high school were pain olympics and it was a nightmare - MacReady

i started fresh in college so my oldest friends have only lasted 2 years so far - MacReady

maybe i just havent been friends with people long enough to be that close to them yet - MacReady

i have 1 friend that knows my full lore and thats it - MacReady

ive had to have some really difficult conversations with some of them but for most its not like that - MacReady

i wish i could be that open with my friends - MacReady

i lowkey be masking a lot - MacReady

i mean some of my friends havent even heard my real laugh - MacReady

very true guys - MacReady

i have a lot going on all the time - MacReady

im worried if they see all of me they wont fw me anymore - MacReady

i crash out weekly atp - MacReady

honesttly im a lot and i know that - MacReady

but i dont want to seem needy - MacReady

at the same time i always wonder if they think i dont care since i dont ask to hang a lot - MacReady

i do have anxiety so yeah - MacReady

my friends are more like family to me than my actual family - MacReady

but they dont so idk why im like this - MacReady

i always get so worried of my friends judging me - MacReady

i want to ask to hang out but we usually just go to shows together so idk if hanging out with him just at my house or smth would be awkward or boring for him - MacReady

he misses me too - MacReady

i havent seen him since june 21 - MacReady

i miss my friend rn - MacReady

its disrespectful to the person and their family and friends - MacReady

in high school - MacReady

ashamed to admit it but i used to look at gore on reddit :/ - MacReady

i was really depressed in my teens so i think i was just numb for a lot of reasons - MacReady

i dont think so - MacReady

yeah exactly green like i forget that theyre real people - MacReady

im better now but i was really numb to it when i was younger - MacReady

like i’ll see awful real footage online and i wont flinch most of the time - MacReady

yeah i’m alright i just wish i wasnt so desensitized since its not natural - MacReady

im honestly desensitized to a lot of disturbing stuff which is probably a bad sign for my wellbeing but i cant change it now - MacReady