i dont have anything that pulls me to anything, i feel many people are pretending to cope through fantasy or lies

i feel that i dont have any interest in anything, i have tried for so long, i even have a social job, but i dont feel like others seem

without*

suffering with a reason to suffer, a purpose, a meaning, is terrible

when i am sober, i am overwhelming aware of my failings and my philosophical belifes, and i cant seem to experience anything that makes me want to live and suffer

i can stop entirely, without issue, the issue is ive done this several times, sometimes for years and arriving at the same conclusions

besides drugs, no, my whole life before even the drug use, i knew this world was, i guess hollow

no amount of therapy can give you purpose in life and i seemingly cant find it

ive been to therapy for years, entire waste of time

ive done just about everything you can do, rn just weed, coke, and benzo